Captain Ewww

Here's an idea. Get George Lucas and Francis Coppola together to come up with a 3D dance spectacular starring Michael Jackson, then show it as an attraction at Disneyland.

What could possibly go wrong?

The answer to that question has been resurrected at Disneyland: Captain EO. Once again it's being shown there. And it's every bit as bad as it was when it first stunk up the Disneyland 3D theater in 1986. The fact that now it's under the guise of a "tribute" to Michael Jackson doesn't make it any easier or pleasant to watch.

While waiting in line, you're captive to a video that plays showing Lucas and Coppola in the throws of the creative process as they invent this masterpiece for Michael.

In the film, Michael dances the Michael dances. Hip thrusts, crotch grabs, moonwalks. And if that weren't enough, he, ahem, "acts". Something about shooting lasers from his wrists and being happy. He's surrounded by fake foam rubber creatures that are supposed to be Star Wars-esque, but are actually cheaply painted foam rubber Lucas probably had laying around the studio.

It's hard to decide what's sadder. Watching Lucas and Coppola cash a huge payday for a creatively bankrupt effort. The fact that Michael Jackson's dead. The fact that 23 years before his death he was cranking out crap like this and people were lining up for it. Or the fact they're still lining up for it.

I have many issues with Michael Jackson. But one thing I always thought was undeniable was his talent.

Unfortunately the same can't be said for his taste.